I reluctantly add to this blog entry - mainly because I feel like this is a very tender area with you and I know you only fleetingly (blogs are so intimate and distant for those of us outside your inner circle of support). Chemo gave me the most vivid, entertaining, and disturbing dreams of my entire life. And the worst/best part of it was that I could actually remember them when I woke up! I know that I dream regularly, but mainly because my wife tells me so (I mumble and murmer when I am in "trouble" in dream-land).
This stops when the chemo stops, if my experience is any indication. And my thoughts are always with you, since I know this damned cancer thing sucks rocks.
When my husband was in the military and would go on his six month deployments, people would be all "Oh, you're so strong, I don't know how you do it, blahblah compassionate noisescakes." The thing is, there is no choice. You put your head down and grind it out and one day you wake up and your life is back to normal.
In December 2007, they found a mass in my rectum. This is My Cancer Deployment.
33yo, primiparous, non-smoking, hypothyroid (dx 12.07), 8+ year pescatarian 1st diagnosed with rectal cancer via colonoscopy on 11.30.07. Despite very low CEA levels (1.0), dx confirmed 12.04.07 via biopsy. Tumor determined to be stage IIIb (T3/N1), 6-7cm from anal verge on 12.11.07 via world's most unpleasant ultrasound.
33 tx of chemorads (3,000mg Xeloda/d), pathology following LAR found no signs of adenoma or carcinoma AND none of the 11 nodes taken out were positive. FUCK YEAH.
Most recently, completed last of 8 treatments of FOLFOX on 8.16.08 and had ostomy reversal 9.5.08.
- 11/30: colonoscopy - 12/21: laproscopic ovary transposition - 12/26: 6 weeks/33 treatments of chemoradiation (last day 2/8) - 3/13: pre-op work-up and CTVP - 3/25: TRUS - 3/28: surgery (LAR) - 4/10: post-op appointment - 4/11: CT scan - 4/14: drain placement - 4/24: port placement - 4/24: 4+ months/8 chemo treatments: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 - 9/4: CT scan, appts with both onc and surgeon - 9/5: ostomy takedown - commence bowel retraining - port gets taken out at some point...
Once goal of normal pooping is achieved (which may be further in the distance than any of us might think), join us in Iceland or Bermuda somewhere totally kewl for my FUCK CANCER Party
1 comment:
Sugarmouth,
I reluctantly add to this blog entry - mainly because I feel like this is a very tender area with you and I know you only fleetingly (blogs are so intimate and distant for those of us outside your inner circle of support). Chemo gave me the most vivid, entertaining, and disturbing dreams of my entire life. And the worst/best part of it was that I could actually remember them when I woke up! I know that I dream regularly, but mainly because my wife tells me so (I mumble and murmer when I am in "trouble" in dream-land).
This stops when the chemo stops, if my experience is any indication.
And my thoughts are always with you, since I know this damned cancer thing sucks rocks.
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