Things I Want You Guys to Know

I am doing well. Really, surprisingly well. I don't think about The Troubles or The Troubles II (aka the whole waste of time known as the exercise in futility fertility) much at all, and when I do, I only break down in tears about 10% of the time.

The latest and greatest in Brigita's Busted Body is that I'm seeing a physical therapist to address relatively recent knee pain that may be a result of radiation damage to my pelvis--the knee joint's connected to the hip joint and all that. I'm hoping to get that all tuned up in order to train for a 10K that's taking place in October, as I really, truely aspire to becoming a I-Beat-Cancer-So-Now-I-Run cliché.

In the meantime, I'm taking a rowing class with a local club and am loving the prospect of joining--and racing with--their novice group once I complete the intro class.

There's other physical stuff that's still a work in progress, but I'm learning more about my triggers and becoming more proficient in working around and through other obstacles.

I think I'm finally in a place where I can exist without the cancer cloud following me around everywhere. It no longer colors every action, thought, or breath that I take. It'll be two years ago this August that I finished chemo. It's hard to believe that it's been that long since my recovery is still ongoing, but with this much perspective, I can finally appreciate just how far I've come.

So, yeah. I wanted you guys to know all of that. Because so many of you have been a huge part of my support, survival, and rebuilding team, I didn't think it was fair to leave that huge "Ohhh, I'm BARREN" meatball hanging out there without any sort of follow-up. I mean yeah, I'm still barren and still pretty heartbroken over it, but shit, I'm HERE to be heartbroken, and I should not take that too much for granted.

Okay, fuck, now I just made myself cry. But I'm smiling too. Yeah, I'm complex like that. ;)


Anonymous said...

It's been a while but thought I'd check in to see how you're doing.

Wishing you and your family the best throughout all of this.


liz said...

Hey Sugarmouth,
My name is Liz and I have been checking your blog from time to time. I am sorry to learn that you were barren last time you wrote, I hope that you have found a way around that issue. I hope that you are doing well and that the reason there have been no recent posts is because life is treating you really well.
That said, since your blog is a great resource for someone going through cancer I wanted to reach out to you to see if you were interested in a new online social support network (that I am the community manager of!) called I Had Cancer. It is a new and free social support network focused on connecting people based on experiences with cancer so that they can easily communicate with one another and share information. I would love to tell you more if you are interested, so please let me know! Because I was so struck by your writing I would love to send you an early-access pass with extra invites for others you may know going through this journey.

Either way, thank you so much for your writing. Take care and best regards.
-Liz@ihadcancer.com -If anyone would like info on I Had Cancer please email me.

Anonymous said...

Hope you are doing well. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Long time since you posted. Hope you are doing well. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.