Some of my More Out-There Theories on What Caused My Cancer:

• Sitting on my ass in front of a computer for several years straight.
• Keeping my cellphone in my pocket.
• Aiming my keyless entry fob @ my pelvis to improve its signal.
  

No Fucking Shit:

A recent study found that swearing makes pain more tolerable.

I had very nearly given up swearing before my diagnosis. Ah well.

Happy Graduation, Chemosabe!

Ass cancer hats off to my stage III CRC compadre, JdB, who completed his twelfth and final FOLFOX treatment today. This is no mean feat, considering I was thisclose to throwing in the towel before finishing out at eight.

Congrats, John!! I am absolutely thrilled for you and your family. Try to rest so you're good and healed for your takedown.